8 classic tactics manipulative people use to control others

When someone flatters you excessively, you might think they’re just being nice. When they play the victim card, you may feel compelled to console them.

But these could also be maneuvers from a manipulator’s playbook.

Understanding human behavior isn’t always a walk in the park. Our minds are intricate, often masking true intentions under layers of gestures and words.

But some are more adept at detecting these hidden agendas than others.

In this piece, I’ll dissect 8 classic tactics manipulative individuals use to assert control over others.

It’s not just about getting ahead; it’s about understanding the dynamics of human interactions and protecting your own authenticity and growth in the process.

Knowing these tactics isn’t only beneficial for self-protection but also helps in cultivating a genuine personal brand that is immune to external manipulative influences.

Because at the end of the day, it’s who you truly are that matters, not who others want you to be.

1) Flattery and excessive compliments

We all love a bit of praise, don’t we?

When someone showers us with compliments, it’s hard not to smile and bask in the warmth of their words.

Manipulative people often use flattery as a tool to win your trust and make you more susceptible to their control.

They’re not complimenting because they genuinely think highly of you, but rather because they know it will make you more open to their influence.

This is not to say that all compliments are insincere, but when they’re excessive and out of context, it should raise a red flag.

Next time someone is overly lavish with their praise, ask yourself: Are they being genuine or is there an ulterior motive at play?

Being aware of these tactics isn’t about becoming cynical or suspicious of everyone around. It’s about protecting your authenticity and maintaining control over your own actions and decisions.

After all, your personal growth should not be dictated by someone else’s hidden agenda.

2) Guilt tripping

Oh, the guilt trip. I’ve had my fair share of these.

Let me tell you about a time when I was caught in the web of a manipulator’s guilt trip.

There was this colleague of mine, let’s call her Lisa. Lisa had a knack for making you feel like you owed her something.

She’d often say things like, “I’ve done so much for you, can’t you do this one thing for me?” or “After everything I’ve done, this is how you repay me?”

At first, I felt guilty and obligated to do as she asked. But then I realized this was a pattern, an emotional manipulation tactic. She was using guilt to control my actions and decisions.

Guilt tripping is a classic move in the manipulator’s playbook. They make you feel indebted to them, stirring up feelings of guilt and obligation to get their way.

If you experience something similar, remember: You’re not obligated to do anything out of guilt. Stand your ground and protect your personal space and growth.

The power to make decisions should always rest with you, not with someone else’s manipulative tactics.

3) Gaslighting

Gaslighting, a term that originated from a 1938 play called “Gas Light” where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s losing her sanity, has now become a widely recognized form of psychological manipulation.

In this insidious tactic, the manipulator makes the victim question their own memory, perception or sanity. They deny facts, dismiss your feelings, and spin the truth to serve their narrative.

Before you know it, you’re second-guessing your own reality.

By sowing seeds of doubt and confusion, gaslighters can gain more control over the victim’s thoughts and actions. It’s about making you question your truth and gradually eroding your confidence and self-trust.

If you ever find yourself in such a situation, remember to trust your instincts and stand firm in your reality.

It’s about safeguarding your personal brand – one that’s grounded in self-awareness and authenticity – against such manipulative influences.

4) Playing the victim

Ever met someone who always seems to be at the receiving end of life’s injustices?

Who constantly makes you feel like the world is against them, and you, being the good person you are, need to step up and help?

That’s the victim card in action.

Manipulative individuals often use this tactic to gain sympathy and control others. By portraying themselves as victims, they can make you feel guilty for not helping or standing up for them.

But here’s the thing: It’s not your responsibility to fix anyone else’s life.

It’s important to show empathy and support, yes, but don’t let it be at the cost of your own well-being or personal growth.

Next time someone constantly plays the victim card, take a step back and evaluate. Is it genuine hardship or a manipulation tactic in disguise? Your first obligation is to yourself and your authenticity.

Don’t let anyone else’s victim narrative derail that.

5) Emotional blackmail

I’ll be honest here; I’ve been on the receiving end of emotional blackmail more than once. It’s a subtle tactic, often hard to identify until you’re knee-deep in it.

Emotional blackmailers often use fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate you into doing what they want.

They might say things like “If you really loved me, you would do this for me,” or “I thought I could count on you, but I guess I was wrong.”

And let me tell you, those words can hit hard. They can make you feel like you’re letting down someone you care about.

But it’s crucial to remember that this is just another manipulation tactic.

Don’t let anyone use your emotions as a weapon against you. Stand firm in your decisions and protect your personal space.

Because at the end of the day, your growth and authenticity should not be compromised for someone else’s manipulative tactics.

6) Constant interruptions

You might think interrupting someone while they’re speaking is just plain rude, but in the hands of a manipulator, it becomes a potent control tactic.

Interrupting someone constantly can throw them off balance. It disrupts their train of thought, making it harder for them to stand their ground or argue effectively.

This way, the manipulator can steer the conversation in their desired direction.

It’s not about being disrespectful; it’s about making you lose your footing and exerting dominance over the conversation.

If you notice this happening often, stand up for yourself. Politely but firmly ask for your chance to speak uninterrupted.

After all, your voice is an integral part of your personal brand and it deserves to be heard, not steamrolled by someone else’s manipulation tactics.

7) Negative surprises

Ever had someone spring a last-minute change or an unexpected negative news on you? That’s another tool in the manipulator’s box.

Manipulative individuals often use sudden negative surprises to throw you off guard.

This could be canceling plans at the last minute, giving you bad news without any prior hint, or changing the rules of a project abruptly.

These unexpected shifts can leave you scrambling and feeling vulnerable, making it easier for the manipulator to exert control.

The key here is to stay calm and collected, even in the face of sudden changes.

Your growth and personal brand are built on your ability to adapt and respond effectively, not on succumbing to other people’s manipulative antics.

8) Isolation

The most dangerous manipulation tactic of all is isolation. Manipulators often try to cut you off from your support system, making you more dependent on them and easier to control.

They might sow seeds of discord between you and your loved ones or convince you that they’re the only one who truly understands or cares for you.

This creates a sense of dependency and loneliness, making you an easy target for their control.

If you ever feel someone is trying to isolate you, reach out to your trusted circle immediately.

Your personal growth thrives on healthy relationships and authentic connections, not on manipulative isolation tactics.

Final thoughts

As we navigate through life, we’re bound to cross paths with manipulative individuals. Recognizing their tactics is the first step towards safeguarding ourselves.

But remember, it’s not about becoming overly suspicious or cynical. It’s about staying true to ourselves and protecting our personal growth.

Being aware of these manipulation tactics is ultimately about understanding human dynamics and preserving our authenticity.

It’s about ensuring that our actions, decisions and personal brand are not influenced by someone else’s hidden agenda.

The power of choice should always rest with you. Your personal growth should not be dictated by someone else’s manipulative tactics.

Instead, it should be driven by your own values, authenticity and self-awareness.

Keep in mind that your personal brand is a reflection of your true potential—one that is grounded in self-awareness, authenticity, and consistent growth.

Never let anyone else’s manipulative tactics derail that.

In the end, it’s your life, your decisions, your growth. Don’t let anyone take that control away from you.

Stand firm in your truth and let your authenticity shine through.

Picture of Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair is a former competitive athlete who transitioned into the world of wellness and mindfulness. Her journey through the highs and lows of competitive sports has given her a unique perspective on resilience and mental toughness. Ava’s writing reflects her belief in the power of small, daily habits to create lasting change.

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