Confidence isn’t always about how you feel—it’s about how you come across. And here’s the secret: most of us are figuring it out as we go.
Even when we don’t feel completely sure of ourselves, certain habits and behaviors can make others see us as self-assured and capable.
The way you carry yourself, the words you choose, and even how you handle uncertainty can all create the impression that you’re more confident than you actually feel inside. And that’s not a bad thing—sometimes, acting the part is what helps you grow into it for real.
If you’ve ever wondered why people assume you have it all together (even when you don’t), here are ten things you’re doing that make you seem far more confident than you feel.
1) You make eye contact
Eye contact is one of the simplest ways to project confidence—even when you’re feeling anything but.
When you look someone in the eye while speaking or listening, it signals that you’re engaged, self-assured, and comfortable in the conversation. On the other hand, avoiding eye contact can make you seem uncertain or even untrustworthy.
The good news? You don’t need to overdo it.
Holding steady eye contact for a few seconds at a time is enough to create the impression of confidence. And if direct eye contact feels too intense, try looking at the space between a person’s eyes—it has the same effect without the pressure.
2) You pause before you speak
I used to think that confidence meant having the quickest response in the room. So, I’d rush to fill silences, blurting out my thoughts before I even had time to process them.
But then I noticed something: the people who seemed the most confident weren’t the ones talking the fastest—they were the ones taking their time.
One day, during a meeting, I decided to try something different. Instead of jumping in immediately, I took a brief pause before responding to a question.
To my surprise, no one interrupted or assumed I didn’t have an answer. Instead, they waited—and when I finally spoke, my words carried more weight.
That’s when I realized that pausing before speaking doesn’t make you seem unsure—it makes you seem thoughtful and deliberate.
People interpret that kind of composure as confidence, even if inside, you’re still figuring out exactly what to say.
3) You keep your body open
The way you hold yourself says a lot before you even open your mouth. When you stand or sit with open body language—uncrossed arms, relaxed shoulders, and a steady posture—you appear more confident and approachable.
Crossing your arms or hunching over, on the other hand, can make you seem closed off or insecure.
In fact, research has shown that adopting open, expansive postures doesn’t just change how others see you—it can also shift how you feel about yourself by increasing feelings of power and confidence.
So even if you’re feeling unsure, keeping your body open can help you look (and even start to feel) more self-assured.
4) You speak at a steady pace
Rushing through your words can make you seem nervous, while speaking too slowly can lose people’s attention.
Confident people tend to speak at a steady, controlled pace—one that allows their words to land without feeling rushed or forced.
When you speak too quickly, it can signal anxiety or a lack of certainty in what you’re saying. But when you slow down just enough to articulate your thoughts clearly, people naturally assume you know what you’re talking about.
The best part? You don’t have to force yourself to speak unnaturally slow. Just focusing on breathing and allowing brief pauses between thoughts can instantly make you sound (and feel) more confident.
5) You nod while listening
Confidence isn’t just about how you speak—it’s also about how you listen. When you nod while someone is talking, it shows that you’re engaged and present in the conversation.
People who lack confidence sometimes hesitate to show acknowledgment, afraid that they might seem too eager or unsure. But those who appear self-assured have no problem signaling that they’re following along.
Nodding at the right moments makes others feel heard, which naturally makes them more receptive to you in return. And when people respond positively to you, it reinforces the impression that you’re someone worth paying attention to.
6) You don’t fidget
There’s something powerful about stillness. When someone is constantly shifting, tapping, or adjusting, it can make them seem anxious or uncertain. But when a person stays calm and composed, it gives off an undeniable sense of confidence.
This isn’t about being stiff or robotic—it’s about being comfortable in your own space. When you resist the urge to fidget, you show that you’re at ease with yourself and the moment you’re in.
And that kind of presence is magnetic. People are naturally drawn to those who appear steady and self-assured, even if deep down, they’re still working through doubts like everyone else.
7) You don’t rush to fill silences
Silence used to make me uncomfortable. In conversations, if there was even a brief pause, I felt the need to jump in and say something—anything—to keep things moving. I assumed that confident people always had something to say, that they never let a conversation stall.
But over time, I noticed that the people who seemed the most self-assured had no problem letting silence hang for a moment. They didn’t rush to fill the gaps. They gave themselves space to think, and they gave others space to respond.
That realization changed everything. Instead of fearing silence, I started embracing it. And what happened? People listened more closely when I did speak.
The pauses gave my words more weight. And without even trying, I started coming across as far more confident than I actually felt.
8) You admit when you don’t know something
A lot of people think confidence means having all the answers. But in reality, the most self-assured people have no problem saying, “I don’t know.”
Trying to fake knowledge or stumble through an answer just to seem competent often has the opposite effect—it makes you look uncertain.
But when you own up to not knowing something, it shows that you’re secure enough in yourself to be honest.
Ironically, admitting what you don’t know makes people trust you more. It shows that when you do speak, you mean what you say. And that kind of quiet certainty is far more powerful than pretending to have all the answers.
9) You use fewer filler words
Words like “um,” “uh,” and “like” slip into conversations more often when we’re unsure of what to say next. While they’re completely natural, using too many can make you seem hesitant or lacking confidence in your own thoughts.
People who come across as confident don’t necessarily have perfect speech—they just give themselves permission to pause instead of filling every gap with unnecessary words.
Next time you catch yourself reaching for a filler word, try taking a brief pause instead. It might feel awkward at first, but to everyone else, it will make you seem more deliberate and self-assured.
10) You stand tall
How you carry yourself changes how people see you. Standing tall—with your shoulders back and your head up—immediately makes you appear more confident, even if you don’t feel that way inside.
Slouching or shrinking into yourself sends the opposite message, signaling hesitation or discomfort. But when you take up space and hold yourself with presence, people assume you’re capable and self-assured.
And the best part? The way you hold your body doesn’t just change how others perceive you—it changes how you perceive yourself.
Confidence is often just perception
Confidence isn’t always about how you feel—it’s about how others perceive you. And as it turns out, many of the behaviors that make someone seem self-assured have little to do with actually feeling fearless or certain.
Psychologists have long studied the connection between body language, speech patterns, and perceived confidence.
Research even suggests that adopting confident behaviors can eventually lead to feeling more confident over time—a phenomenon sometimes called “acting as if“.
So if people assume you’re more confident than you feel, maybe it’s not an accident. Maybe, without realizing it, you’ve already been practicing the habits that project self-assurance.
And the more you lean into them, the closer you might get to actually believing it yourself.
