Self-respect is one of those things that often gets overlooked, but it’s a game-changer when it comes to relationships.
Without it, things can spiral fast—especially when it comes to how we show up for the people we care about.
When we’re struggling with self-respect, it’s not always obvious to others, but our actions often give it away.
The small things we do, or don’t do, can reveal more about our inner battles than we realize.
And those behaviors can take a toll on the relationships we try so hard to nurture.
In this article, we’re going to dive into eight common behaviors that come up when self-respect is in short supply.
This isn’t about calling anyone out or making anyone feel bad—it’s about understanding these patterns and, hopefully, giving us all a chance to reflect and grow.
1) Constantly seeking approval
When self-respect is low, the need for external validation often skyrockets.
Those struggling with self-respect often find themselves continuously seeking approval, especially within their relationships.
They may feel the need to receive constant reassurance about their worth, actions, or decisions.
In a relationship, this can manifest as a relentless quest for compliments or an insatiable craving for affirmation from their partner.
This pattern isn’t about healthy communication or feedback, but a deeper insecurity stemming from a lack of self-respect.
It’s entirely normal to desire validation and positive feedback from our partners.
However, when it becomes a compulsive need or dependence, it might indicate an underlying struggle with self-respect.
2) Accepting less than they deserve
I’ve seen this pattern in myself and it’s a tough one to break.
When I struggled with self-respect, I found myself accepting behavior from my partner that I knew deep down wasn’t right.
I would make excuses for them, saying they were just having a bad day or they didn’t mean what they said.
Looking back, I realize it was because I didn’t value myself enough to demand the respect and kindness I deserved.
I was settling for less because I didn’t believe I was worthy of more.
People who grapple with self-respect often tolerate poor treatment in relationships.
They might endure disrespect, unkindness, or even abuse, and still stick around – all because they don’t believe they deserve better.
This behavior is incredibly damaging, not just for the relationship, but also for one’s mental health and self-esteem.
3) Fear of confrontation
Did you know the human brain often perceives social rejection as physical pain?
This might explain why confrontation can feel so uncomfortable.
People struggling with self-respect often go to great lengths to avoid confrontation in their relationships.
They might suppress their feelings, needs, or concerns, all to maintain a facade of harmony.
This behavior stems from a fear of rejection or conflict.
They worry that their partner might leave them if they express dissatisfaction or disagreement, indicating a lack of belief in their own worthiness.
Unfortunately, this fear can lead to a build-up of resentment and frustration, ultimately causing more harm than good.
Assertive communication, though challenging, is crucial for maintaining healthy and respectful relationships.
4) Over-apologizing
We’ve all met someone who says sorry too much – or maybe, you’re that person.
People who grapple with self-respect often find themselves apologizing excessively.
This isn’t about genuine remorse for a mistake made but an automatic response bred from a sense of unworthiness.
In relationships, these individuals might apologize for things beyond their control or even for expressing their feelings.
This constant desire to appease others often stems from a fear of rejection or conflict.
While it’s crucial to apologize when we’re at fault, over-apologizing can diminish one’s self-esteem further.
5) Struggling to set boundaries
Setting boundaries is an act of self-love and respect.
It signals that you know your worth and aren’t afraid to protect your peace.
However, for those wrestling with self-respect, setting boundaries can feel like an uphill battle.
They might worry that their boundaries will push people away or make them seem selfish.
In relationships, these individuals often end up giving more than they receive, sacrificing their needs for the sake of their partner’s happiness.
They find it difficult to say ‘no’, even when they’re pushed beyond their comfort zone.
But here’s the truth – setting boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.
And anyone who respects and values you will honor those boundaries.
Remember, you teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.
6) Negative self-talk
I remember a time when my mind was my own worst enemy.
The things I would say to myself were things I would never say to anyone else.
People struggling with self-respect often engage in negative self-talk.
In relationships, this can manifest as feeling unworthy of love, blaming oneself for every little conflict, or constantly comparing oneself to their partner’s exes or friends.
This destructive mental habit can severely impact one’s self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy and despair.
It’s crucial to challenge these negative thoughts and replace them with more compassionate and realistic self-perceptions.
The way we talk to ourselves matters. It shapes our reality and our relationships.
Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
7) Difficulty accepting compliments
Have you ever shrugged off a compliment, feeling awkward or undeserving?
People who struggle with self-respect often have a hard time accepting compliments.
In relationships, they might dismiss their partner’s praises or immediately deflect with self-deprecating humor.
This behavior reflects their difficulty in seeing themselves in a positive light.
They might feel unworthy of the compliment, or fear that accepting it may come off as arrogant.
However, it’s essential to remember that everyone deserves recognition and praise.
Accepting a compliment graciously doesn’t make you arrogant – it shows that you respect and value yourself.
So next time someone pays you a compliment, try to resist the urge to deflect. Simply smile and say ‘thank you’.
8) Sacrificing their own happiness
At the heart of self-respect is the understanding that your happiness matters.
Those grappling with self-respect often find themselves prioritizing their partner’s happiness over their own.
They might give up on their dreams, hobbies, or passions, believing their partner’s needs and desires should always come first.
In relationships, this can lead to feelings of resentment, dissatisfaction, and loss of identity.
Your dreams, desires, and happiness are just as important as your partner’s. Never forget that.
It’s a journey
At the core of our behavior and interactions with others, lies our relationship with ourselves.
People who struggle with self-respect often grapple with this acceptance, and it’s mirrored in their relationships.
But the beauty of this struggle is that it’s not a dead end, but rather a starting point for growth and change.
Accepting our flaws, setting boundaries, challenging negative self-talk, and acknowledging our worth – these aren’t overnight changes.
They’re practices woven into the journey of self-discovery and self-respect.
So if you’ve recognized these behaviors in yourself or someone you care about, remember that it’s just the beginning of a journey.
A journey towards self-respect, healthier relationships, and ultimately, a happier you.
