If you’ve ever been close to someone displaying narcissistic tendencies, you know it can be a rollercoaster. The ups and downs, the self-centered behavior, and the lack of empathy can be challenging to deal with.
Narcissism is not simply a personality trait that people choose. It’s a recognized mental health condition known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
But individuals can change, and some people may outgrow their narcissistic tendencies over time. As a psychologist, I’ve observed this transformation and identified common behaviors these individuals usually adopt.
Understanding these behaviors can offer valuable insights into how people change and grow over time. So, let’s dive into it.
1) Acknowledgement and accountability
One of the most significant behaviors I’ve observed is the growing ability to acknowledge and take accountability for their actions. This is a huge step forward for someone who has previously displayed narcissistic tendencies.
For instance, let’s say you’ve asked them to take out the trash and it hasn’t been done yet. In the past, they might have tried to manipulate you into feeling guilty for making this request.
They might have said something like, “Just because I didn’t do it as soon as you wanted me to doesn’t mean that I’m not going to do it.”
But as they outgrow these tendencies, they begin to recognize that your request is reasonable. They’ll start to understand that making you feel like you’re overbearing or controlling isn’t fair or healthy.
Instead of making you feel guilty, they will now take responsibility for forgetting to take out the trash. They might apologize and assure you that they’ll do it right away.
This change in behavior shows a significant shift away from narcissistic tendencies towards a more empathetic and understanding approach. It’s a sign of personal growth and maturity that can greatly improve their relationships.
2) Seeking feedback
Contrary to what you might expect, people who are moving away from narcissistic behaviors often start actively seeking feedback. This goes against the typical narcissistic characteristic of always needing to be right or superior.
Instead of shunning or dismissing other people’s opinions, they begin to value them. They understand that everyone has their unique perspectives and experiences, and they are open to learning from them.
This shift in behavior can be surprising, given the self-centered nature of narcissism. However, it’s an important step towards personal growth. They might ask for your opinion on a decision they’re about to make, or ask how you felt about a recent interaction between the two of you.
This behavior shows a willingness to consider other views and feelings, an important trait that can foster healthier relationships and personal development.
3) Demonstrating empathy
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is often absent in individuals with strong narcissistic tendencies. However, those who start to outgrow these traits tend to show a notable increase in empathetic behaviors.
It’s fascinating to note that the human brain is capable of change and growth throughout a person’s life, a concept known as neuroplasticity. This means that even if someone has previously struggled with empathy, it’s possible for them to develop this skill over time.
So if they begin to show genuine concern for your feelings, or express understanding when you’re going through a tough time, it indicates a significant shift in their behavior. They may start asking more about how you’re feeling, or express sorrow when you’re sad.
This demonstrates not just personal growth, but also an expansion of their emotional intelligence, leading to healthier and more balanced relationships.
4) Offering support
Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s important to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. As individuals begin to shed their narcissistic tendencies, they often start offering emotional support to others. This is a significant change from their previous self-focused mindset.
They might begin to notice when you’re having a tough day and offer a listening ear or a comforting word. Instead of focusing solely on their own needs, they make an effort to ensure you feel heard and understood.
This behavior is a promising sign of growth. It symbolizes how they are learning to step outside of themselves and be there for others in a meaningful way. It’s a beautiful transformation that nurtures stronger, more caring relationships.
5) Practicing patience
We all have our moments of impatience, don’t we? And for those with narcissistic tendencies, patience can be especially challenging. Yet, as they grow and evolve, they often start practicing patience more frequently.
Instead of being quick to react or express frustration, they might start taking a pause. They may spend that extra moment processing their thoughts or calming their emotions before responding.
This doesn’t mean they’re perfect – nobody is. But if you notice them making a conscious effort to be patient, even in difficult situations, it’s a clear sign they’re striving to change. This newfound patience can lead to more peaceful interactions and healthier relationships.
6) Accepting differences
As a psychologist, I’ve seen countless examples of individuals growing and changing. One behavior that stands out is the acceptance of differences in others.
Picture this: You have a friend who has always been set in their ways, insisting that their perspective or method is the only correct one. But over time, you begin to notice a shift.
Now, when you suggest an alternative idea or approach, they’re more open. They might not always agree with you, but they respect your right to have a different opinion. They’ve come to understand that differing viewpoints are valuable and can coexist.
This acceptance of differences represents a significant departure from narcissistic tendencies and is an encouraging sign of personal growth.
7) Owning up to mistakes
Nobody likes to admit they’re wrong. But the truth is, we all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. And for those moving away from narcissistic behaviors, it can be an especially hard pill to swallow.
However, taking ownership of mistakes is a critical step towards personal growth. It requires a level of self-awareness and humility that might have been missing before.
So if you notice them admitting when they’re wrong, apologizing sincerely, and making an effort to rectify their mistakes, it’s a big deal. It shows they’re confronting their flaws head-on and working to become a better person. It’s not easy, but it’s essential for personal growth and healthier relationships.
Consistency is key
Above all, remember this: Change takes time and consistency. It’s easy to slip back into old habits, especially during stressful times. But those who are genuinely outgrowing their narcissistic tendencies will show consistent effort, even when it’s tough.
You might see them falter now and then, but the important thing is they keep trying. They continue to acknowledge their actions, seek feedback, show empathy, offer support, practice patience, accept differences, and own up to their mistakes.
Consistent effort in these areas is the strongest indicator of lasting change. It shows they’re committed to growth and shaping healthier relationships. It’s a journey, but one that is truly rewarding for everyone involved.
Conclusion
Understanding the journey of personal growth is truly enlightening—and it all depends on your personal experiences and relationships.
This article aims to shed light on the unexpected behaviors adopted by people who outgrow their narcissistic tendencies, but remember, understanding and patience are key.
Energy spent on fostering understanding and empathy is never wasted.
And to truly appreciate this transformation means to resist the urge to judge, and instead focus on understanding and supporting their growth.
Here’s to witnessing inspiring personal transformations and fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships!
