Life has a way of teaching lessons, but unfortunately, many men realize some of the most important ones a little too late.
Whether it’s about relationships, success, or self-growth, these insights often come after years of trial and error—and sometimes after it’s too late to fully benefit from them.
In this article, we’ll uncover 9 key lessons that, according to psychology, 98 percent of men only learn later in life.
By understanding these truths early, you can save yourself from regret and set yourself up for a more fulfilling and meaningful journey.
Let’s dive in.
1) Acknowledging emotions
Speaking as a man myself, it’s no secret that we often struggle with acknowledging and expressing our emotions. This is a societal norm that’s been embedded in us from a young age.
The mantra “boys don’t cry” has done more harm than good. It’s a psychological fact that suppressing emotions can lead to an array of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.
According to psychology, many men only learn the importance of being open about their feelings later in life. They realize that expressing emotions isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather a fundamental aspect of mental health and wellbeing.
Reflecting on this, it becomes apparent that acknowledging and expressing feelings are crucial for emotional growth. It’s high time we break the societal norms holding us back and embrace emotional honesty. This is an essential lesson I wish more men would learn sooner rather than later.
2) Life isn’t a competition
I have to admit, for a good portion of my life, I was caught up in the rat race. Climbing corporate ladders, chasing promotions, always wanting to be the best – it felt like life was a never-ending competition.
But one thing that psychology points out, and which I’ve personally experienced, is that this sense of constant competition often leads to burnout and dissatisfaction.
Eventually, I realized that my worth wasn’t defined by how much better I was than someone else. It wasn’t about being ahead or behind. It was about my journey, my growth, and my happiness.
This was a game-changer for me. I started focusing less on competing and more on contributing. I began to value collaboration over competition and found that this brought more fulfilment and joy into my life.
It’s a lesson I wish I’d learned earlier, and it’s something that 98 percent of men realize too late: Life isn’t a competition. We’re all on unique paths, and the only person you should be comparing yourself to is who you were yesterday.
3) The importance of self-care
Contrary to popular belief, self-care isn’t just for women. It’s an integral part of maintaining physical, mental, and emotional health. Yet, many men often push it to the back burner, prioritizing work and other commitments.
Psychology reveals a startling trend: men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues or stress management compared to women. This reluctance often stems from societal stereotypes that associate self-care with femininity.
However, the reality is that neglecting self-care can lead to long-term health issues. Studies have shown that chronic stress can result in conditions like heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes.
Understanding the value of self-care and incorporating it into daily routines is something most men realize later in life. We should instead normalize self-care and understand its role in maintaining overall well-being from an early age.
4) The power of living in the present moment
In our fast-paced lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of future plans and past regrets. But, according to Buddhism, one of the fundamental truths is the importance of living in the present moment.
This is a concept I delve deeper into in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. The teachings of Buddha emphasize that the present moment is all we truly have. By focusing on it, we can achieve mindfulness, which in turn leads to a heightened sense of peace and contentment.
Unfortunately, most men realize this truth too late in life. We spend our youth chasing after future goals or dwelling on past mistakes, forgetting to enjoy and appreciate what’s right in front of us.
The art of mindfulness and staying present isn’t just a philosophical concept but a psychologically proven technique to reduce stress and enhance mental health. It’s a powerful life lesson that can transform our perspective towards life if learned early enough.
5) It’s okay to ask for help
Asking for help isn’t always easy. For a long time, I thought I had to do everything myself. I prided myself on my independence and self-reliance. But in truth, this mindset left me feeling overwhelmed and isolated.
The reality is, no man is an island. We all need support, whether it’s emotional, mental, or physical. There’s no shame in admitting you’re struggling and need help. In fact, it takes courage to let down your guard and reveal your vulnerability.
Many men only learn this later in life, often after shouldering burdens alone for far too long. But the sooner we realize that it’s okay to ask for help, the healthier and happier we will be. It’s a sign of strength to acknowledge our limitations and seek assistance when needed.
6) Failure is not the end
Society often paints failure as a fatal flaw, something to be avoided at all costs. But this mindset can do more harm than good. The fear of failure can keep us from taking risks, pursuing our passions, and ultimately, living our lives to the fullest.
Here’s the counter-intuitive truth: failure is not the enemy. In fact, it’s one of our greatest teachers. Every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow. Every mistake is a stepping stone towards success.
According to psychology, it’s only later in life that most men realize that failure isn’t the end of the world. In reality, it’s an integral part of our journey towards success and personal growth.
7) Health is wealth
It’s easy to take our health for granted, especially in the hustle and bustle of our youth. Many men often prioritize work, money, and success over their physical wellbeing. Only when health issues begin to surface do they realize the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
According to psychology, this is a lesson learned too late by a vast majority of men. They fail to understand that without good health, all the wealth and success in the world mean very little.
A balanced diet, regular exercise, adequate sleep – these are not optional but essential for our long-term health and happiness. It’s crucial to make these a priority before it’s too late because, as the saying goes, “Health is wealth.”
8) Relationships require work
In my younger years, like many other men, I believed that once you found ‘the one’, everything else would fall into place. But life and experience have taught me that this is far from the truth.
Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, require consistent effort and nurturing. They are not just about the good times, but also about navigating through challenges and disagreements together.
Communication, compromise, and empathy are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. It’s a lesson many men learn later in life, often after experiencing heartbreak or loneliness.
Understanding that relationships require work is crucial to fostering deep and meaningful connections with others. It’s not just about finding the right person, but also about being the right person for them.
9) Life is not a dress rehearsal
Here’s the most important thing: Life does not come with a do-over. Every moment that passes is a moment we can’t get back. Many men, including myself at times, forget this essential truth.
We often get so caught up in our daily routines, future plans, or past regrets that we forget to live our lives fully and passionately. We put off our dreams and aspirations, thinking we have plenty of time.
But the reality is, life is happening right now. It’s not a dress rehearsal. It’s a one-time performance without an encore. We need to seize each day, follow our passions, and live our lives with purpose and joy.
Final thoughts: It’s about time
Time is the one resource we can’t replenish. Understanding this simple, yet profound fact is crucial. Many men, including myself, spent years chasing after things that, in retrospect, weren’t as important as we thought they were.
Perhaps the biggest lesson of all is realizing that life is fleeting and precious. Every moment counts and every choice matters. This isn’t about creating a sense of urgency or fear, but rather a sense of appreciation and responsibility.
In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the Buddhist principles of mindfulness and living in the present. These teachings remind us to fully engage with our lives, to derive joy from simple pleasures, and to understand the transient nature of existence.
As we reflect on these lessons learned too late by most men, let’s strive to not fall into the same trap. Let’s prioritize our health, embrace our emotions, value our relationships, learn from our failures, and most importantly, live every day fully and passionately.
After all, the time to live our best lives isn’t in the distant future or buried in the past – it’s right here, right now.
