There’s a fine line between being tactfully diplomatic and downright dishonest.
This subtle distinction is often hard to discern. Dishonesty, you see, isn’t always as blatant as a lie. Sometimes, it’s a careful omission of truth, or a cleverly veiled half-truth.
Psychology has a knack for decoding these hidden signs of dishonesty. And let’s face it, nobody likes being deceived.
If you’ve ever wondered how to spot a dishonest person, you’re not alone. Here are some telltale signs that someone might not be as honest as they appear.
Let’s get started.
1) They avoid eye contact
Eye contact is a basic form of human connection, but it’s also a window into someone’s honesty.
According to psychology, individuals who often avoid eye contact could be hiding something. It’s as if they’re trying to shield their deceit from being revealed.
Sure, not everyone finds maintaining eye contact comfortable. But there’s a difference between occasional diversion and constant avoidance.
If someone consistently shies away from looking you in the eye when speaking, it might be because they’re not being completely honest.
It’s worth noting that this isn’t a foolproof sign of dishonesty – some people might just be shy or anxious. But coupled with other signs, it could indicate a lack of honesty.
2) They change their story often
One time I had a friend, let’s call them Alex. Alex had a knack for spinning tales. At first, it seemed like they just had a vibrant imagination, but soon I noticed a pattern.
Alex would tell me a story one day, and then a week later, the same story would have completely different details. The setting would change, the people involved, even the outcome. It was as if they were narrating an entirely different event.
Psychology tells us that inconsistency in recalling events can be a sign of dishonesty. Truthful people tend to stick to the same story because, well, that’s how it happened.
3) They touch their face frequently
Body language can speak louder than words. Especially when it comes to spotting dishonesty.
People who are lying have a tendency to touch their face more often. This can manifest as scratching the nose, rubbing the forehead or covering the mouth.
This subconscious act is known as a ‘microexpression’. It’s our body’s way of expressing discomfort when our words don’t align with our thoughts.
If you notice someone frequently touching their face while speaking, it could indicate that they’re not being entirely truthful. But remember, just like any other sign, it’s important to consider this within the context of their overall behaviour.
4) They provide too much information
When someone is lying, they often feel the need to convince you of their honesty. And one way they do this is by providing more information than necessary.
Instead of simply answering the question asked, they might go off on tangents or include irrelevant details. This is often an attempt to appear convincing or distract from their dishonesty.
If someone’s responses feel overly detailed or unnecessarily complex, take a moment. It could be a sign that they’re straying from the truth. Honesty usually comes with simplicity and clarity, not confusion and complication.
5) Their body language is closed off
Body language is a powerful communication tool, and often, it’s more telling than words.
When someone is not being honest, they might unconsciously adopt closed-off body language. This could involve crossing arms, avoiding direct body orientation or creating physical barriers with objects.
These behaviors can signify discomfort or defensiveness. It’s as if the person is trying to shield themselves physically from the untruth they’re uttering.
When you’re speaking with someone, pay attention to how they position themselves. If their body language seems closed off, it could be a sign they’re not being entirely truthful.
6) They struggle to express empathy
One of the most beautiful traits of human nature is our capacity for empathy. It connects us, makes us more understanding and compassionate.
But when someone is being dishonest, expressing genuine empathy can be challenging. Their focus is often on maintaining their facade, which leaves little room for sincere emotional connection.
If you notice someone consistently failing to empathize or show genuine concern for others, it might not be because they’re heartless. It could be a sign that they’re preoccupied with hiding the truth.
Honesty is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. And without it, true empathy can be hard to achieve.
7) They react aggressively to questioning
I once had a conversation that took an unexpected turn. I asked a simple question, but the response was far from simple. It was aggressive, defensive, almost hostile.
This reaction took me by surprise. I hadn’t meant to offend or accuse. I was just seeking clarity. But the aggressive response made me question if there was something more beneath the surface.
Psychology suggests that when people react aggressively to simple questions, it could be a sign of dishonesty. It’s as if the person feels threatened by the possibility of their untruth being discovered.
If someone responds with hostility or defensiveness when questioned, it might not be about you or your question. It could be their way of deflecting attention from their dishonesty.
8) They hesitate before answering
Hesitation can often be mistaken for thoughtfulness, but sometimes it’s a sign of something more.
When someone is being dishonest, they might pause before answering a question. This hesitation isn’t about pondering; it’s about constructing a believable response.
This doesn’t mean that everyone who takes a moment before speaking is lying. Some people genuinely need time to gather their thoughts. But if this hesitation is coupled with other signs of dishonesty, it could indicate that they’re straying from the truth.
Always remember, honesty usually flows freely, without the need for pauses or delays.
9) They rarely admit their mistakes
Admitting mistakes is a hallmark of honesty. It shows that a person values truth over appearances.
But when someone is dishonest, admitting mistakes can feel threatening. It exposes their fallibility and disrupts the image they’re trying to maintain.
If you notice someone consistently refusing to acknowledge their errors, even when faced with undeniable evidence, take note. This reluctance to admit mistakes could be a sign that they’re not as honest as they appear.
In the end, understanding and recognizing honesty is about more than just spotting lies. It’s about valuing truth, authenticity, and vulnerability in our interactions with others.
