The line between self-care and self-sabotage can be thinner than we like to admit. Especially when we’re feeling low, it’s all too easy to slip into habits that far from helping us, actually hinder our wellbeing.
While we might think we’re doing what’s needed to feel better, sometimes, we’re subtly sabotaging ourselves without even noticing.
These subtle self-defeating actions can be hard to spot, but once you’re aware of them, you can actively avoid them. Here are eight ways we unintentionally set ourselves back when we’re not at our best.
1) Overthinking
When we’re feeling down, our minds can become our worst enemies.
We obsessively replay past mistakes, worry about future problems, and generally overanalyze every little thing. This is called overthinking.
Overthinking is a common reaction when we’re not feeling our best. We believe that if we can just figure out what went wrong, or what might go wrong, we can prevent it from happening again.
But here’s the catch: overthinking doesn’t solve our problems, it only amplifies them. It leads to a vicious cycle of worry and anxiety that keeps us stuck in our heads.
So next time you find yourself stuck in an overthinking loop, take a deep breath and try to let it go. It’s difficult, but remember: you’re not alone in this struggle.
2) Neglecting self-care
In my darker days, I’ve often found myself neglecting the very things that lift me up.
Whether it’s skipping my morning run, indulging in junk food, or staying up late binge-watching shows, these small acts of neglect can turn into a slippery slope of self-sabotage.
At the time, it feels like I’m giving myself what I want, a break. But in reality, I’m denying myself the self-care practices that keep me balanced and healthy.
It’s easy to dismiss these actions as harmless when we’re feeling low. After all, what’s one missed run or a night of poor sleep? But over time, these small acts of self-sabotage can add up, leaving us feeling even worse.
So remember to take care of yourself, even when it seems difficult. A little self-care can go a long way in lifting your spirits.
3) Isolation
When we’re not feeling our best, it’s easy to pull away from the world. We crave solitude, believing it will help us heal or manage our feelings.
However, studies have shown that social isolation can actually intensify feelings of sadness and may even lead to more serious mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
While it’s important to have alone time to process our feelings, completely isolating ourselves can be a subtle form of self-sabotage.
Connecting with supportive friends or family can provide a much-needed perspective and remind us that we’re not alone in our struggles. So, the next time you feel like withdrawing, try reaching out instead.
4) Avoiding emotions
When we’re feeling down, it’s natural to want to push away negative emotions. We think that if we can just ignore them, they’ll go away.
But the truth is, avoiding our emotions is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater – it’s exhausting and they always pop back up.
Rather than avoiding how we feel, it’s healthier to acknowledge and process these emotions. It’s okay to feel sad, anxious or angry. These feelings are part of being human.
By acknowledging our feelings, we give ourselves permission to heal and move forward. So next time you feel a wave of emotion coming on, don’t push it away. Allow yourself to feel it and remember, it’s okay not to be okay.
5) Self-criticism
We can often be our own worst critics. When we’re not feeling great, this inner critic becomes even louder. We berate ourselves for past mistakes, for not being good enough, or for simply feeling down.
But here’s the thing – this self-criticism doesn’t help us to feel better. In fact, it only adds to our emotional burden, reinforcing feelings of inadequacy and despair.
What we need in those moments is not criticism, but compassion. We need to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would offer a friend.
Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes, to have bad days, to be less than perfect. These things don’t define your worth. So next time you’re feeling down, try replacing self-criticism with self-compassion. It can make a world of difference.
6) Ignoring physical health
There was a time when I would let my mental state dictate my physical health. If I was feeling low, I’d skip meals or eat poorly, neglect my exercise routine, even disrupt my sleep schedule.
I rationalized these choices, telling myself I was just too tired or too upset to care for my body.
But over time, I realized this was a form of self-sabotage. By ignoring my physical health, I was actually prolonging and exacerbating my emotional distress.
Your physical health directly impacts your mental wellbeing. Taking care of your body isn’t just about looking good, it’s about feeling good too. So, don’t neglect your physical health, even when you’re feeling low. A healthy body can be a great ally in overcoming emotional struggles.
7) Dwelling on the past
When we’re not feeling our best, it’s easy to slip into a cycle of dwelling on past mistakes or regrets. We replay these scenarios over and over, thinking about what we could have done differently.
But this dwelling doesn’t change the past, nor does it help us feel better. Instead, it keeps us stuck, unable to move forward.
It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and has regrets. The key is to learn from them, let them go, and focus on the present moment.
So next time you catch yourself dwelling on the past, try to redirect your attention to the here and now. It’s the only moment we truly have control over.
8) Giving up on goals
When we’re not feeling great, it can be tempting to abandon our goals. We might convince ourselves that they’re too hard, or that we’re not capable of achieving them.
But giving up on our goals only feeds into feelings of despair and inadequacy. It’s a form of self-sabotage that keeps us stuck in a cycle of negativity.
Remember, it’s okay to take a break, to rest and recharge. But don’t give up on your dreams. They are a reflection of your potential, your hopes, and your unique gifts.
In the face of hardship, hold on to your goals. They can act as a beacon, guiding you through difficult times towards a brighter future.
Final thoughts: Finding strength in vulnerability
At the heart of self-sabotage is a profound human truth – we are all vulnerable. And sometimes, our attempts to shield ourselves from this vulnerability can lead us astray.
Whether it’s overthinking, neglecting self-care, or giving up on our goals, these subtle forms of self-sabotage are often rooted in fear and self-doubt.
But here’s the beautiful paradox – acknowledging our vulnerability can be our greatest strength. It allows us to face our fears, grow from our mistakes, and cultivate resilience.
The next time you find yourself in a cycle of self-sabotage, remember that it’s okay to feel vulnerable. It’s okay to not feel great. These moments don’t define you, but how you respond to them can shape your journey towards healing and growth.
Cherish your vulnerability, for it is the birthplace of courage, empathy, and authentic connection. And remember, even on your darkest days, there is always a glimmer of hope. Your story is far from over.
