You know, it’s easy to believe that we are good people. We all have our reasons for the things we do, and often we can justify our actions in our minds.
But sometimes, psychology might beg to differ. There are certain traits and behaviors that can indicate not-so-good tendencies.
According to psychology, there are some signs that you might not be as good a person as you think. And don’t worry, we all have our weak points.
In this article, I’m going to share with you 8 signs that you’re not an entirely good person, according to psychology. Don’t be alarmed, instead, consider it an opportunity for self-improvement. After all, nobody’s perfect!
1) Lack of empathy
Now, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
And according to psychology, a lack of empathy is one of the major signs that you might not be an entirely good person. This isn’t about occasional missteps or failures to connect; we all have those moments.
It’s about a consistent pattern of failing to understand or even disregarding the feelings of others. If you often find yourself unable to relate to others’ experiences or emotions, this could be a red flag.
It’s an indication that your perspective might be more self-centered than you realize. And while it’s natural for us all to focus on our own experience, a complete lack of empathy can harm your relationships and negatively impact those around you.
Remember though, this isn’t about labeling or judging. It’s about recognizing areas for growth and self-improvement. If you see this trait in yourself, it’s never too late to work on developing more empathy.
2) Constantly playing the victim
Alright, let me share something personal with you. I had a phase in my life when I was always the ‘victim’. Every situation, every conflict, I was the one being wronged. Or at least that’s how I saw it.
I didn’t realize it then, but according to psychology, constantly playing the victim is a sign that you may not be as good a person as you think. It’s a way of deflecting responsibility and pinning blame on others.
It took a good friend pulling me aside and pointing this out for me to see it. I was so caught up in my own narrative that I didn’t realize the negative impact it was having on those around me.
I had to learn to take responsibility for my actions and recognize that not everything was happening ‘to me’. Sometimes, I was part of the problem.
If you often find yourself painting every situation with you as the victim, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate your role. It’s not easy, but taking responsibility is a crucial step towards becoming a better person.
3) Frequent lying
We all tell little white lies from time to time, whether it’s to spare someone’s feelings or avoid an awkward situation. But when lying becomes a regular habit, it’s a different story.
Psychology suggests that frequent lying can be a sign of not being an entirely good person. Lies, particularly when they become habitual, can be manipulative and self-serving, damaging trust and relationships.
Did you know that according to a study conducted by the University of Massachusetts, 60% of adults can’t have a ten minute conversation without lying at least once? It’s a surprisingly common behavior.
However, the frequency and the purpose behind the lie are what really matter. If you find yourself lying often, especially to gain advantage or avoid responsibility, it might be time to reflect on your actions and their implications.
4) Not respecting boundaries
Respecting the boundaries of others is a fundamental aspect of being a good person. It shows that you value the comfort and autonomy of the people around you.
But if you find yourself consistently overstepping or disregarding other people’s boundaries, it could be a sign that you’re not an entirely good person, according to psychology.
This could take many forms, from ignoring someone’s clear “no”, to pushing people into doing things they’re not comfortable with, or even failing to respect personal space.
It’s important to remember that respect for boundaries isn’t just about major transgressions. It’s about honoring the small things too – like someone’s time, their emotional space, and their right to have their own opinions.
If you notice this pattern in your behavior, it might be worthwhile to take a step back and reassess how you interact with others. Sometimes, a little self-awareness can go a long way in becoming a better person.
5) Being overly critical
It’s one thing to have high standards, but quite another to be overly critical, especially towards others.
Psychology tells us that this trait can be a sign of not being an entirely good person. It’s about more than just being a perfectionist. It’s about constantly finding faults in others, often without offering any constructive feedback or empathy.
It’s tough, isn’t it? Humans are flawed, and it can be so easy to focus on the negatives. We sometimes forget that everyone is on their own journey, with their own struggles and strengths.
If you find that you’re often overly critical of others, it may be time to take a heart check. Try to practice more compassion and understanding. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and have room for improvement – and that includes ourselves too.
6) Holding grudges
There was a time when I held onto grudges like they were lifelines. Someone wronged me, and in my mind, they had to pay for it. I believed that letting go meant letting them off the hook.
But psychology suggests that holding onto grudges is a sign of not being an entirely good person. It’s a form of refusal to forgive, to let go of past wrongs and move forward.
What I learned the hard way is that holding grudges hurts me more than the person who wronged me. It’s like carrying around a heavy load that gets in the way of happiness and personal growth.
If you find yourself holding onto past wrongs and unable to let go, it might be time to reflect on why that is and what you can do about it. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person; it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment.
7) Taking more than giving
Relationships, whether personal or professional, are a two-way street. They require give and take from both sides to thrive.
But if you find that you’re often on the receiving end, taking more than you give, it could be a sign that you’re not an entirely good person, according to psychology.
This isn’t about keeping score or ensuring everything is exactly equal. But there should be a balance, a sense of reciprocity in your relationships.
If you tend to take more – whether it’s time, resources, or emotional support – without giving back or showing appreciation, it could be time for a reality check.
It’s essential to reflect on your actions and their impact on others. After all, being a good person often means considering not just our own needs, but those of the people around us as well.
8) Lack of personal growth
At the end of the day, one of the most telling signs that you’re not an entirely good person is a lack of personal growth.
Psychology tells us that good people are open to change and improvement. They acknowledge their flaws and work towards becoming better.
If you’re resistant to change, if you’re not interested in learning from your mistakes or growing as a person, it’s a red flag.
Personal growth isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about recognizing that we all have areas we need to work on, and being willing to put in the effort to improve. It’s about striving to be a better version of ourselves, for our own sake and for the sake of those around us.
Final thought: It’s a journey
When it comes to our character and actions, it’s essential to remember that we’re all works in progress.
The field of psychology reminds us that being a good person isn’t about perfection, but about growth and improvement. It’s about acknowledging our flaws and taking steps to become better.
Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” This sentiment holds true here as well.
If you’ve identified with some of the signs we’ve discussed in this article, don’t be too hard on yourself. Recognizing these traits is the first step towards change.
Use this as a starting point for self-reflection and personal growth. Remember, it’s never too late to become a better version of yourself. The journey towards becoming a better person is just that – a journey. And every step you take in the right direction counts.
