Life has a way of teaching us lessons that, unfortunately, most of us learn too late.
Psychology reveals that there are certain brutal truths about life, the kind that can shape our lives and decisions, but that 98% of us only realize after the fact.
The hard part is, these truths are often overlooked until we’re looking back. But what if we could catch them earlier?
In this article, we’ll dive into 8 brutal truths about life that, according to psychology, most of us learn far too late.
Here’s to hoping this early insight can make a difference in your life’s journey.
1) Time is non-refundable
One of the harshest realities we face, according to psychology, is the concept of time’s irrevocability.
We often spend our younger years with a carefree attitude towards time, wasting hours, days, or even years on things that don’t truly matter to us.
It’s only when we get older that we realize the true value of time. We can’t rewind it, pause it, or fast-forward it. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever.
It’s a brutal truth that many people only fully grasp when it’s too late. They look back on their lives wishing they had spent their time more wisely, on things that truly mattered to them.
If we can learn this truth earlier in life, imagine the difference it could make to our decisions and actions. We might pursue our passions more fiercely, value our relationships more deeply, and live our lives more purposefully.
2) Failure is part of the journey
Psychology tells us that one of life’s brutal truths is the inevitability of failure. It’s an intrinsic part of our journey and something most people only learn to accept later in life.
I vividly recall my own struggles with this truth. In my early twenties, I was determined to be a successful entrepreneur. I had this vision of creating a business that would change the world. But my first venture was a complete disaster.
I remember the sinking feeling in my gut when I had to finally admit that it was over, that I had failed. It felt like the end of the world. But as time passed, I realized that failure wasn’t the end, it was part of my journey towards success.
It took me a bit longer to understand that each failure was a stepping stone, offering me lessons and insights I wouldn’t have gained otherwise. It was a tough pill to swallow, but ultimately, it made me more resilient and determined.
Embracing this truth earlier could save us from unnecessary heartaches and self-doubt. Failure isn’t meant to deter us; it’s meant to guide us towards our ultimate destination.
3) Happiness is a personal choice
A significant truth about life that many learn too late is that happiness is a personal choice and not contingent on external factors.
According to a study conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, about 40% of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change.
Many people spend most of their lives pursing happiness in things – a high-paying job, a luxurious car, a big house – only to realize later that happiness isn’t found in material possessions but within oneself.
Understanding that happiness is a state of mind we can actively choose to be in, regardless of our circumstances, can be empowering. This awareness can save us from years of discontentment and aimless search for happiness in all the wrong places.
4) Ego is not your friend
One of the brutal truths about life, which is deeply rooted in Buddhist philosophy, is that our ego can often be our own worst enemy.
The ego, according to Buddhism, is an illusionary sense of self that we cling to, causing us suffering and preventing us from achieving true happiness and enlightenment.
In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into the concept of ego, explaining how it can lead us astray by creating a distorted view of reality.
This book offers insights on how to manage your ego and live a more fulfilled and impactful life. It’s based on deep-rooted Buddhist principles that have guided millions of people towards a path of peace and self-discovery.
Realizing that our ego is not our friend and learning to let go of it can be a game-changer. The sooner we learn this truth, the easier it becomes to live a more authentic, peaceful, and fulfilling life.
5) You can’t please everyone
One of the most exhausting endeavors I’ve ever embarked on was trying to make everyone around me happy. I used to bend over backwards, adjust my desires, and even suppress my needs just to avoid disappointing anyone.
The brutal truth is, no matter how hard you try, you can’t please everyone. And the effort to do so can leave you drained and unhappy.
As I grew older, I realized that in trying to be everything to everyone, I was losing myself. It was a tough lesson but a necessary one.
Today, I understand the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing my own happiness. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about self-preservation.
The sooner we learn this truth, the healthier our relationships become and the better we are at preserving our mental and emotional wellbeing.
6) Comfort zones are not so comfortable
Here’s a paradoxical truth about life that most of us learn too late: comfort zones, despite their name, are not really that comfortable.
While it might seem safe and cozy to stick to the familiar, it can often lead to stagnation and dissatisfaction in the long run.
The real magic happens outside of our comfort zones. It’s where growth, discovery, and adventure lie. By avoiding risks and new experiences, we miss out on the very things that make life worth living.
It’s only when we step out of our comfort zones that we truly begin to live. The sooner we learn this, the more enriched our lives become.
7) Perfection is a myth
A realization that often comes too late in life is understanding that perfection is a myth. It’s an unattainable standard that we set for ourselves which can lead to unnecessary stress and self-criticism.
In reality, nobody is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures. What’s more important is to focus on progress, not perfection.
It’s about learning from our mistakes, growing from our experiences, and striving to become better versions of ourselves.
The sooner we embrace our imperfections and stop chasing the illusion of perfection, the happier and more content we become with our lives.
8) Life is fleeting
Perhaps the most brutal truth we learn too late in life is that it’s fleeting. It passes by quicker than we realize, and before we know it, years have turned into decades.
Life is a precious gift, and every moment counts. It’s essential to make the most of it, to live fully and authentically, to pursue our dreams and passions, and to cherish our relationships.
Understanding the fleeting nature of life can inspire us to live with more urgency and intention. It’s a wakeup call that nudges us to not postpone joy or wait for “someday” to do the things we love. Because the truth is, “someday” may never come.
Final thought: Life is an ongoing lesson
These brutal truths about life could be a guiding light, helping us to lead a more fulfilling and meaningful existence. They may seem harsh, but they’re grounded in psychological research and resonate with the experiences of countless individuals.
In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore many of these truths from a Buddhist perspective. It provides practical insights into how to live life with greater awareness, authenticity, and courage.
But remember, knowing these truths is one thing, learning from them is another. It’s up to us to take these insights and weave them into the fabric of our lives.
As we do, we may find ourselves living not just with more intention and purpose, but also with a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment. After all, life isn’t merely about existing; it’s about truly living.
So as we continue on this journey called life, let’s remember that every moment offers us an opportunity to learn, grow, and become better versions of ourselves. This is the essence of our human experience.