Self-esteem, it’s a tricky thing. Sometimes, we might think we’re brimming with confidence, but our actions speak a different language.
You see, there are subtle signs that can show you’re suffering from low self-esteem without you even realizing it. These are little things, almost invisible to the naked eye, but they say a lot about how we see ourselves.
In this article, we’re going to delve into 10 things you don’t realize you’re doing that show you have low self-esteem. By recognizing these signs, you can start to rebuild your confidence and live life on your own terms.
Let’s dive in.
1) Over-apologizing
Ever found yourself saying sorry for things that don’t warrant an apology? This is a common trait among those with low self-esteem.
Over-apologizing can be a subconscious attempt to avoid conflict or to make others feel comfortable at your own expense. It usually stems from a fear of rejection or a belief that you’re constantly doing something wrong.
But here’s the thing – it’s unnecessary. Not everything is your fault, and you don’t need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Recognizing this habit is the first step towards building a healthier self-esteem. Remember, it’s okay to stop apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong.
2) Constant self-deprecation
I remember there was a time when I couldn’t accept a compliment without a quick, self-deprecating comeback. If someone complimented my outfit, I’d immediately reply, “Oh this old thing? I just threw it on.” If someone praised my work, I’d shrug it off, saying, “I just got lucky.”
Looking back, I realize how these seemingly harmless jokes were actually a reflection of my low self-esteem. It was as if I was so uncomfortable with the idea of being praised that I had to immediately deflect it.
If you find yourself doing the same, take note. Self-deprecation can be a sign of low self-esteem. It’s okay to accept compliments gracefully and believe in your worth. It doesn’t mean you’re arrogant, it means you’re confident.
3) Avoiding eye contact
Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It can convey confidence, interest, and respect. But when you have low self-esteem, maintaining eye contact can be a real challenge.
People with low self-esteem often avoid eye contact. They tend to look away or down during conversations because they fear being judged or rejected.
If you catch yourself frequently avoiding eye contact, it could be a sign of low self-esteem. Try practicing making and maintaining eye contact during conversations. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with time, it can boost your confidence and improve your interactions.
4) Negative self-talk
We all have an internal monologue – the voice in our heads that guides our thoughts and actions. But for those with low self-esteem, this voice can often be critical and negative.
You might find yourself constantly doubting your abilities or berating yourself over small mistakes. This negative self-talk can significantly damage your self-esteem and hinder your growth.
It’s crucial to recognize and challenge these negative thoughts. Remember, nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Start treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to others. It can make a world of difference to your self-esteem.
5) Seeking validation
Do you often find yourself seeking validation from others? Do their opinions of you hold a great deal of weight in your mind? This might be a sign of low self-esteem.
When we don’t believe in our own worth, we often seek approval and validation from those around us. We might constantly ask for their opinions, look for compliments, or even alter our behavior to fit in.
But true confidence comes from within. You don’t need others to validate your worth. Start trusting your own judgment and decisions. It’s okay to consider others’ opinions, but ultimately, you should be the one in control of your life.
6) Difficulty accepting love and kindness
When you have low self-esteem, accepting love and kindness from others can feel incredibly difficult. You might think you’re not worthy of it, or that there’s a catch involved.
This can lead to pushing away the very people who care about you, creating a barrier between yourself and the love that’s being offered. It’s a heartbreaking cycle that only serves to reinforce negative self-beliefs.
If you’re struggling with this, remember that you are deserving of love and kindness just as you are. You don’t need to earn it or prove your worth. Accepting this can be a big step towards boosting your self-esteem.
7) Hiding your true self
There was a time when I was always putting on a mask. I’d act differently around different people, trying to be who I thought they wanted me to be. It was exhausting and left me feeling disconnected from myself.
This constant shape-shifting is often a sign of low self-esteem. You might feel like your true self isn’t good enough, so you hide behind a façade to fit in or be liked.
Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards change. Embrace who you are, quirks and all. Authenticity is liberating and can significantly boost your self-esteem. After all, there’s no one else quite like you.
8) Overachieving
On the surface, being an overachiever might seem like a sign of high self-esteem. But often, it’s quite the opposite.
Overachievers tend to set extremely high standards for themselves. They constantly strive for perfection and regard anything less as failure. This relentless pursuit can stem from a deep-seated belief that they’re not good enough as they are.
If you find yourself in this overachieving trap, it’s important to remember that your worth isn’t determined by your achievements. It’s completely fine to strive for success, but don’t let it define you. You are more than your accomplishments.
9) Avoiding risks
Taking risks can be scary, especially when you have low self-esteem. You might worry about failing or looking foolish, so you stick to what’s familiar and safe.
But constantly avoiding risks can limit your potential and prevent you from growing. It’s okay to step out of your comfort zone and take on new challenges. Remember, failure is a part of life and it’s how we learn and grow.
Don’t let fear of failure hold you back. Believe in your ability to navigate through whatever comes your way. You’re stronger and more capable than you think!
10) Neglecting self-care
When you have low self-esteem, you might neglect your own needs in favor of others’. This could mean skipping meals, losing sleep, or ignoring your emotional health.
But remember this: self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health is a vital part of maintaining good self-esteem.
So take time for yourself. Eat well, get enough rest, and do things that make you happy. You deserve to be cared for, especially by yourself.
