Life can throw some pretty big curveballs our way. I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit, and I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to us, but how we respond that truly defines our character.
Staying strong when life isn’t going according to plan is an art form in itself. It’s about resilience, conviction, and maintaining a positive attitude.
I’ve spent years studying mindfulness and Buddhism and have discovered that there are certain habits that resilient people share. These habits help them navigate through life’s unpredictability with grace and strength.
In this article, I’ll share 10 habits of people who stay strong, no matter where life takes them. These are the people who accept life’s challenges with a smile on their face and see every setback as a stepping stone for success.
Let’s dive in.
1) Embrace change
It’s a universal truth – life is unpredictable. One day, you’re on top of the world, and the next, you’re in the trenches.
But here’s the thing: the people who stay strong, even when life doesn’t go to plan, they embrace change. They understand that change is a natural part of life and instead of resisting it, they adapt.
Let’s take a lesson from Buddhism. The Buddha taught that everything in life is impermanent and ever-changing. When we resist this natural flow of life, we suffer. But when we embrace it, we find strength and resilience.
Adapting to change is like riding a wave. Sure, you might get toppled over now and then, but with practice and patience, you learn to ride those waves with grace and even excitement for where they might take you.
When life throws a curveball your way, remember that change isn’t necessarily bad. It’s just different. And it could be an opportunity to learn, grow, and become even stronger.
Stay open to possibilities and embrace change. It’s one of the most powerful habits you can cultivate for staying strong, no matter what life throws your way.
2) Practice mindfulness
In the chaos of life, it’s easy to get caught up in our worries and fears. But resilient people have a secret weapon: mindfulness.
Mindfulness, a concept I’ve grown to appreciate deeply in my own life, is all about staying present. It’s about acknowledging thoughts and feelings without judgement.
The famous Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, once said, “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.”
This quote speaks volumes to me. When we’re caught up in our past regrets or future anxieties, we miss out on the beauty of the present moment.
Practicing mindfulness helps us to stay grounded, even when life doesn’t go as planned. It allows us to see our challenges for what they really are – just temporary moments in time.
So try to make mindfulness a daily habit. Take a few moments each day to just sit and be present. You might be surprised at how much stronger you feel when you’re truly living in the now.
3) Cultivate gratitude
One habit I’ve noticed in resilient people is their ability to find gratitude, even when the going gets tough.
In my own life, I’ve found that taking a moment each day to recognize the things I’m grateful for has had a profound impact on my overall outlook. It shifts the focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right.
Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you”. It’s about acknowledging the good in your life, even when things aren’t perfect. It’s recognizing that even in the midst of challenges, there are still things to be thankful for.
And research backs up the power of gratitude. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can improve mental health, boost happiness, and even strengthen resilience.
So why not give it a try? Start by jotting down three things you’re grateful for each day. You might be surprised at how this simple habit can help you stay strong when life takes an unexpected turn.
4) Keep moving forward
Life is like a river, it keeps flowing. And just like a river, we need to keep moving forward, no matter what obstacles we encounter.
There’s a quote by Albert Einstein that I find particularly inspiring: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
I’ve found this to be true in my own life. When faced with adversity, the worst thing you can do is to stagnate or retreat.
People who stay strong when life doesn’t go as planned understand this. They may take a moment to reflect and regroup, but they never stop moving forward.
So how can you put this into practice? Start by setting small, achievable goals for yourself. Each day, aim to make some kind of progress, no matter how small.
Resilience isn’t about never falling down – it’s about always getting back up and continuing the journey. So keep pedaling, stay balanced, and keep moving forward.
5) Nurture positive relationships
We are social creatures by nature. The relationships we cultivate have a significant impact on our happiness and resilience.
In my journey to build a happier life, I’ve learned the importance of surrounding myself with positive, supportive individuals. These are the people who lift me up when I’m down and cheer me on when I’m striving towards my goals.
And it’s not just me saying this. Life Transition coach Jeanette Brown, in her book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World, emphasizes the role of positive relationships in creating a fulfilling and resilient life.
Nurturing these relationships doesn’t just mean spending time with friends and family. It also means distancing yourself from toxic or negative influences that drain your energy.
It’s about quality, not quantity. You’re better off with a few close, supportive friends than a crowd of negative acquaintances. So take the time to nurture those positive relationships – they’re crucial for staying strong when life doesn’t go to plan.
6) Take care of your health
Health is a cornerstone of resilience. It’s tough to stay strong when you’re not feeling your best.
Simple actions like eating a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, and ensuring you get enough sleep, can have a huge impact on your ability to cope with life’s ups and downs.
It’s not about being a fitness fanatic or following a strict diet, but rather about making small, sustainable changes that benefit your overall wellbeing.
Maybe it’s taking a short walk each day, swapping out an unhealthy snack for a piece of fruit, or setting a regular bedtime to ensure you get enough rest.
Whatever it is, make your health a priority. It’s the ultimate investment in yourself and your ability to stay strong when life doesn’t go as planned.
7) Practice self-compassion
In my mindfulness journey, I’ve discovered a powerful habit that resilient people cultivate: self-compassion.
Often, we can be our own worst critics, especially when things go wrong. But beating ourselves up only adds to our stress and makes us feel worse.
Practicing self-compassion means treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we’d show to a good friend. It’s about acknowledging our flaws and failures as part of the human experience, not as something that defines us.
So the next time you’re feeling down or dealing with a setback, try a little self-compassion. Remind yourself that everyone struggles, everyone has bad days.
Then, take a deep breath, give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back, and carry on. You might be surprised at how this simple act of self-kindness helps you stay strong when life doesn’t go as planned.
8) Maintain a positive outlook
It’s not always easy to stay positive when life throws a curveball your way. But those who stay strong even when life doesn’t go as planned, often manage to maintain a positive outlook.
They understand that while they can’t control everything that happens to them, they can control how they react.
Winston Churchill once said, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Keeping this quote in mind can be a powerful reminder to look for the silver linings, no matter how difficult the situation may seem.
So try to cultivate a positive mindset. Practice reframing negative thoughts into positive ones. Remember, every challenge is an opportunity for growth and learning.
Maintaining a positive outlook won’t make your problems disappear, but it can certainly make them easier to handle.
9) Allow yourself to feel
This may seem counterintuitive, but one habit I’ve noticed in resilient people is their willingness to feel their feelings, even the uncomfortable ones.
You see, there’s a common misconception that staying strong means ignoring or suppressing our feelings. But in my experience, the opposite is true.
Our emotions are part of us and they can be powerful indicators of what’s going on inside. Ignoring them or brushing them under the carpet doesn’t make them go away; it just pushes them down where they can fester and cause more harm.
Allowing ourselves to feel isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of courage. It’s about acknowledging our human experience in all its ups and downs.
So the next time you’re feeling upset, angry, or scared, allow yourself to feel those emotions. Sit with them, acknowledge them, understand them. It’s a crucial step towards staying strong when life doesn’t go as planned.
10) Celebrate small wins
Finally, resilient people understand the importance of celebrating small wins.
When life doesn’t go as planned, it’s easy to focus on the negatives and overlook the positives. But even during tough times, there are always small victories worth celebrating.
Maybe you managed to get out of bed on a particularly tough day, or you completed a task that you’ve been putting off. These might seem like small things, but they’re all victories worth acknowledging.
Celebrating small wins boosts our mood and encourages us to keep going. It’s a reminder that even in the midst of challenges, we’re still making progress.
So make it a habit to acknowledge and celebrate your small victories. It’s a simple yet powerful way to stay strong when life doesn’t go as planned.
Conclusion
Life is unpredictable, and we all face challenges that test our strength and resilience. But remember, it’s not about avoiding these challenges, but about how we handle them.
Cultivating habits like embracing change, practicing mindfulness, nurturing positive relationships, and celebrating small wins can help you stay strong when life doesn’t go as planned.
And remember, you don’t have to do it alone. There are resources available to help you navigate life’s ups and downs. One such resource is Jeanette Brown’s book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World. It’s a practical guide filled with strategies to build resilience and create a fulfilling life, no matter what comes your way.
So keep going, keep growing, and remember: You’re stronger than you think.
