Have you ever been surrounded by people but felt completely disconnected? Or spent an evening alone and felt perfectly content?
Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same.
Loneliness is a sense of isolation, a longing for connection that isn’t fulfilled. But being alone—when embraced intentionally—can be a source of peace, creativity, and even joy.
Some people seem to have mastered the art of thriving in their own company. They rarely feel lonely, even when they spend time alone.
What’s their secret?
As a psychologist, I’ve discovered that it’s not about avoiding solitude but cultivating subtle habits that foster a deep sense of connection to themselves and others.
In this article, we’ll explore seven of these habits. If you’ve ever wondered how to be more comfortable in your own skin or less reliant on external validation for happiness, this is your guide
1) They practice self-compassion
There’s an age-old saying that goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.”
People who rarely feel lonely understand this. They recognize the importance of self-care and self-compassion.
They don’t beat themselves up over small failures or setbacks. Instead, they treat themselves with kindness and understanding, just as they would a dear friend.
This doesn’t mean they never experience negative emotions or challenges. But by approaching these feelings with compassion, they create a healthy relationship with themselves.
A relationship that provides comfort and companionship, even when they’re alone. This is their first line of defense against loneliness.
2) They embrace solitude
Now this one might sound paradoxical, but hear me out.
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A few years ago, I found myself in a new city with no friends or family around. It was intimidating, to say the least. But over time, I learned to enjoy my own company.
How?
I began taking myself out for coffee, exploring local parks and museums, even going to the movies alone.
And guess what? I grew to love it.
The people who rarely feel lonely, they’ve mastered this art of being alone without feeling lonely. They see solitude not as something to fear, but as an opportunity to:
- Reconnect with themselves
- Pursue personal interests
- Enjoy the peace and quiet
By embracing solitude, they’ve turned potential loneliness into fulfilling alone time.
3) They’re not afraid to ask for help
This is one of those things that most of us struggle with. Asking for help feels like admitting defeat, like we’re not strong or capable enough.
But here’s the truth.
We all need help at times. And that’s okay.
The people who rarely feel lonely, they’ve let go of this unnecessary guilt and shame around asking for help. They understand that needing support doesn’t mean they are weak, but rather human.
And when they reach out, they find connection. They find understanding and empathy, which staves off loneliness.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable to ask for help. But it also brings us closer to others in a profound way. We’re all in this together, after all.
4) They keep a gratitude journal
At first glance, you might wonder, “What does gratitude have to do with loneliness?”
Well, a lot actually.
Research shows that people who rarely feel lonely often have a practice of acknowledging the positive aspects of their lives. And one way they do this is by keeping a gratitude journal.
They jot down things they’re thankful for each day, no matter how big or small. This simple act shifts their focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in their lives.
As they appreciate the good around them, they feel more connected to the world. And this connection is a powerful antidote to feelings of loneliness.
5) They prioritize face-to-face interactions
In our digital age, it’s easy to hide behind screens. But nothing beats the power of a face-to-face interaction.
Research shows that our brains respond differently to in-person interactions compared to digital ones. In-person interactions trigger a stronger emotional response, enhancing our sense of connection and belonging.
Those who rarely feel lonely understand this. They make an effort to meet people in person, even if it’s just for a quick coffee catch-up or a walk in the park.
They know that these in-person interactions have a unique ability to fill up their social tanks and keep loneliness at bay.
6) They extend a hand to others
We all know how it feels to be left out or forgotten. It’s a terrible feeling, one that can easily spiral into loneliness.
But those who rarely feel lonely, they remember this feeling. And they use it as a motivation to reach out to others.
They’re the ones who:
- Check in on their elderly neighbor
- Invite the new colleague for lunch
- Offer a listening ear to a friend going through a tough time
They understand that by helping others feel less alone, they too feel more connected. It’s a beautiful cycle of empathy and connection that guards them against the sting of loneliness.
7) They cultivate meaningful relationships
At the end of the day, it’s not about how many friends you have, but how deep those friendships are.
People who rarely feel lonely prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to their relationships. They invest time and energy in building connections that are authentic and meaningful.
They’re not just looking for someone to pass the time with, but for connections that provide emotional support, shared experiences, and mutual understanding.
This approach to relationships ensures that they have a strong social network to lean on, making loneliness a rare visitor in their lives.
Final thoughts
It’s worth noting that loneliness is a universal human experience. We all feel it at some point or another, and that’s okay.
What’s important is how we respond to it. And as we’ve seen, the individuals who rarely feel lonely have certain habits in common. They’ve learned that connection starts from within—and that being comfortable in your own company opens the door to deeper relationships with others.
So if you’ve been feeling lonely recently, reflect on these seven habits.
By adopting a few of them you can transform time alone into an opportunity for growth, creativity, and self-discovery.