Privacy is one of those topics we often overlook until we find ourselves feeling exposed or misjudged.
In my counseling practice, I’ve seen countless people struggle to strike a balance between authenticity and oversharing.
At times, it’s tempting to let the world in on every detail of our lives, especially in the era of social media and constant digital connection.
Yet, when we give away too much of ourselves, it can erode both self-respect and the respect others have for us.
So, if you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Am I sharing too much?” you’re not alone.
In many ways, keeping certain things to yourself can be the kindest, healthiest decision you can make—for yourself and for the people around you.
What follows are six things I’ve found truly valuable to keep under lock and key. They’re not about hiding who you are; they’re about preserving your dignity, your peace, and ultimately, your self-worth.
1. Your deeply personal struggles
We’re all on a journey of some kind, and struggles are part of the terrain.
Whether it’s anxiety, depression, or leftover trauma from your past, not everyone in your circle needs an all-access pass to these private chapters of your life.
Vulnerability can be powerful. Brene Brown has pointed out, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”
But that doesn’t mean you owe your rawness to everyone you meet.
In my practice, I often guide clients to distinguish between healthy vulnerability (shared intentionally with trustworthy individuals) and reckless oversharing (broadcasting your trauma to people who may not handle it gently).
It’s important to feel emotionally safe before opening up about delicate issues.
When you choose who hears your intimate stories, you also choose who influences your narrative. Select wisely.
2. The nitty-gritty of your finances
Money talk can be a sensitive subject.
For some, the impulse to share might come from a place of excitement—like announcing a raise or a hefty bonus.
For others, it might stem from anxiety, such as grappling with debt and wanting advice.
There’s a fine line between seeking genuine help and exposing yourself to judgment or unsolicited opinions.
I’ve seen clients open up about their bank balances, their loan statuses, and detailed salary information in social settings.
Often, it leads to comparisons, envy, or—worst of all—a power imbalance.
If you’re comfortable discussing certain aspects of your finances with a close friend or a professional advisor, go for it. But remember that your financial well-being is a personal journey.
Discussing money matters broadly can sometimes cause emotional strain, especially when it sparks comparisons or competitiveness.
Keeping some monetary details to yourself offers both peace of mind and a safeguard against negative energy.
3. Your relationship’s private conflicts
We’ve all been guilty of sharing a little too much about an argument with our spouse or a disagreement with a partner.
It’s easy to feel the urge to vent to friends or family, especially when emotions run high.
But here’s the catch: once you bring those third parties into your disputes, it can be tough to reset the image they form of your significant other.
It can create factions: your friends and family begin to view your partner through the lens of your complaints, not as the nuanced person they actually are.
Consider venting to a single confidant—a therapist or a trusted friend—rather than inviting every ear in the neighborhood. A united front remains a sign of mutual respect and healthy boundaries.
4. Your big, unformed dreams
Ever shared a grand ambition only to have it ridiculed or brought down by a chorus of negativity?
In my early years of practice, I enthusiastically told acquaintances about plans I had for my own workshop series—before they were fully formed.
Suddenly, I was met with a barrage of skepticism and half-baked suggestions. It left me second-guessing my original vision.
If there’s a project, dream, or goal you’re nurturing, sometimes it’s better to let it grow in private until it has a stable root system.
This isn’t about hoarding your ideas; it’s about protecting them during their most delicate phase.
5. The intimate details of your self-care routines
We talk a lot about self-care these days, but it’s still a highly individual practice.
Whether your routine involves meditating at dawn, journaling by candlelight, or unwinding with a glass of wine and a face mask, it’s yours alone.
You don’t have to broadcast every yoga session, every personal affirmation, or every therapy appointment.
I speak from a place of experience here. Early on, I felt pressured to share every step of my self-improvement journey to prove I was “walking the talk” as a counselor and writer.
But over-disclosure can sometimes derail progress, especially if you start prioritizing external validation over genuine self-discovery.
Sharing bits and pieces is fine, but remember that self-care is fundamentally about you.
Guarding that space can keep your progress consistent and free from external judgment.
6. Your raw insecurities
I’ve saved a big one until last, friends. Insecurities can feel like a hundred tiny cracks beneath the surface, and it’s natural to crave reassurance.
While it’s healthy to talk through them in a safe environment (maybe with a therapist, a close friend, or a support group), plastering your vulnerabilities everywhere can hurt your sense of dignity more than it helps your self-esteem.
If you’re keenly aware of your insecurities—say, a fear of failure or a perceived lack of talent—learn to identify healthy, supportive spaces to work through them.
Random acquaintances or fleeting social media followers might not provide the empathy or context you truly need. In fact, oversharing can invite criticism, pity, or simply misinterpretation.
Sometimes, it’s enough to acknowledge those insecurities internally, or with a small circle that genuinely wants to see you heal and grow.
Final thoughts
When I reflect on the most respected and self-assured people I know, they all have one thing in common: they understand the value of privacy, not as a tool for secrecy but as an essential part of self-respect.
Holding certain parts of your life close to the chest doesn’t make you dishonest or aloof. It simply means you recognize the importance of emotional boundaries.
By choosing what to share and who to share it with, you maintain a sense of control over your own narrative.
So, if you’re feeling pressured to bare it all—whether from social media or well-intentioned friends—consider pulling back the curtain a bit.
Think of it like tending a garden: some flowers need sunlight, but some flourish best in partial shade, away from prying eyes.
Balance is the name of the game, and privacy isn’t a selfish act. It’s an act of self-love that can bring you more respect than you might imagine.
Signing off.
